ManTalks – Building your brotherhood
Date: May 20, 2016
Name: ManTalks – Building your brotherhood
Presenter: Stephen Mansfield
Many young male leaders are experiencing society barriers that prevent them to achieve greatness. They need to find their “brotherhood” because the current society is fading the true meaning of “brotherhood” away from the world of men. ManTalks invites Stephen Mansfield, the author of “Mansfield’s Book of Manly Men”, to discuss the evolution of brotherhood in the current society. Brotherhood provides truthful relationship and unconditional support for men. In this presentation, Stephen Mansfield will provide his insight and perspective on brotherhood. Moreover, this presentation will enlighten young male leaders. Female leaders will also explore the sensitive part of men that will drive their success to the next level.
Stephen Mansfield, a New York Times bestselling author, inspires many men around the world. He released the book, “Mansfield’s Book of Manly Men” that helps men to reclaim their true manhood. His book, “The Miracle of the Kurds” made a stand against the evils of ISIS in the Middle East. Stephen Mansfield is also a motivational speaker who is featured on many media, such as FOX and CNN. In addition, he speaks on leadership, the lessons of history, and faith that support leaders in different industries.
Stephen Mansfield shares his turning point story. He was once stuck at Damascus dessert hotel. He met an old man at the rooftop party. They could not speak the same language, but they were able to connect with the word “son”. The old man announced Mansfield a new nickname and gave him a celebration of being a father. The next day, Mansfield felt different because it was his first time that he was welcomed in the stage of manhood.
Mansfield states many young men, including him, do not learn manhood when they are young. Furthermore, there is never a heritage of manhood pass down.
The Damascus event changed Mansfield’s life. He started to study about manhood and he realized the topic of manhood is broad. However, he discovered there is no confirmation of navigate manhood in this generation. Mansfield knew there were many books about manhood, but the question is, is it useful for men?
Mansfield believes there is a guerrilla theory of man. Traditionally, men were needed for building. The society needed men back then. However, the current society left out the navigation, and it causes men to decline in any measure. Men could not fit in this society and women were breaking the glass ceiling. There is a problem, but men do not admit. Many people assume it was women who took away from men, but the study shows it was not. Mansfield believes the global problem of this change from men has to do with no mentoring of manhood.
The world is not giving what men want. When Mansfield interviews men, he senses fear. They do not know what to do because there is no pass down from their father.
“We are waiting for solution, but we need to know we can fix it together”
Mansfield believes there are 2 goals.
- Men need to build a manly culture with proper culture
- Bring the boys in
Men need to come together and commit. They must have a common goal. They also need to initiate the boys. Many boys are traumatized because they do not have manhood. The statistic shows women are ahead in high school, but men will catch up in college. Therefore, men need to build manhood to protect.
When his son was 13 years old, he wanted to test his manhood by doing danger actions on a guy. The guy was going to arrest him for his actions. His son and the whole family were freaked out. However, Mansfield and the guy laughed at the end. Mansfield laughed because he knew in the age of 12, every man would lose their mind on something. They, as men, understand what was going on because it was a part of phase that every man will go through. Mansfield shares that men need to walk along with boys. However, not everyone has that opportunity. This causes many misunderstanding for men in this society.
Men in this society need to change their lives because no one is walking with them. Mansfield wants men to know that men should not wait for anyone; in fact, they are the one who can change this.
Building the band of brothers
Mansfield suggests the idea of building the band of brothers. A ban of brothers is a band of man that is noble to manhood. In this society, most men walk alone and most men do not have good friend. Because of this, they feel there is a list of things they need to do alone.
The band of brothers is a way to help men to build or help each other so they do not walk alone. Men need other men’s perspectives. Many men do not see themselves internally and they do not see themselves well enough. Men need men around them that are not afraid to say anything. Mansfield describes it as “free fire zone”.
Free fire zone is a place where men have no excuse to hurt each other; instead, they just help each other. The band of brother helps create men’s movement, which leads to accountability.
“We sometime hide things, so we need men that are close and tell us the truth”
Mansfield mentions an incident happened to his group. One day, a closed brother was cheating on his wife. The band of brothers sits together and forced him to commit to change. His wife did not trust him anymore, but she trusted the band. She trusted them that they could change him and fix him. Therefore, he was not walking alone.
Mansfield emphasizes the band of brother is not a study group; in fact, it is just men who want to be support each other. In sports, men do not ask permission to coach each other. They understand each other. Mansfield believes if it works with sports, why not do the same in manhood to help men to become a better man.
There is a need of peer mentoring for most men. They like to figure out what man’s life really is. There is about 50% suicide rate for men in this society. This is all because of loneliness. The suicide rate for men is rising and they need other men to kick down the door and get away the feeling of pushy. Men are too polite in this world and the reality is that nobody cares about it. Men should learn to do their best when they are in the environment of manhood. Men need to know the damage and start to connect and watch out for each other.
Based on a study, the effort on boy who has a biological father that teach him manhood and boy who has other men watch out for him is the same. Men need to move manhood into the culture.
Questions and Answers
Mansfield mentions it is easy to explain manhood in church because they have the same common definition of manhood. However, it could be hard because some churches still have traditional boundary. This can be narrow and this is main reason why Mansfield hardly hosts his event in church. He usually hosts in bar because it sends the message the audience that it is different than church. Mansfield believes manhood is wildly defined than what is in church.
Mansfield mentions many father do not teach their son to shave because their father did not teach them either. Teaching other how to shave can be the first step of manhood for most boys. Mansfield calls this “indirect relationship”. Men should pour all the resources together and start teaching.
“It is the ‘doing’ that provides the connection”
Mansfield will spend some time after his talk in school to teach boys at school the value and respect of manhood. Many schools are inspired with this idea and they made it as a necessary school curriculum.
There are other programs, such as Big Brother system, that offer the same concept. Mansfield wants men to be careful. Mansfield suggests men to start a network with people they know.
The biggest change in manhood that impact on men is the ability to manage. The damage can heal and the loneliness will dissolve. Men will become healthier and rounded.
Mansfield believes men cannot be the best man of all by doing it alone. This is the truth that most men think it is false.
Mother plays a strong role in manhood. When boys are young, they are closed to mother. However, there is a transition to father. Mother will still need to encourage their kids to be involved in manhood.